A different approach

TMP is worried that everything we have predicted about the course of this wretched government and its assorted lackeys and acolytes turns out to be true, no matter how dire and improbable it may seem at the time the comments are made. It has started to concern us that this may be rather more than sheer prescience.

So let's see if the TMP "power" works, and that our predictions are indeed the cause of future events, not just a spookily accurate guess at the outcome. Here's the acid test of this power for today: we have identified what has become the most predictable "dead cert" of the week, and decided to turn it on its head. TMP fearlessly predicts that John Sergeant will at last get the boot from Strictly Come Dancing tomorrow (Sunday).

And if that works, we'll try out our power to affect the course of events on some more pressing matters facing the country (yes, there are more urgent matters than Strictly results, trust us.)

Gordon Brown lives in a cocoon of hubris, and his bullying nature prevents him from getting any useful input from those around, who he terrorises into subservient agreement; all the more so now that he believes in his own infallibity once again. Yet we have had plenty of evidence that Broon has no plan other than to shore up his own personal aggrandisement - perfectly enshrined in the phrase that must haunt him to his grave: "no more boom and bust".

If his new best mates on the world economic stage actually believed the old Caledonian fraud was speaking the truth and good sense, then how come they are all dumping our currency on such an alarming and epic scale? Thanks to the efforts of the dangerously misguided Mervyn King, the deeply flawed Gordon Brown and the generally inept Alistair Darling, the £ is now a mickey-mouse player in global economic terms. Why would would any sane country want to hold it?

The present slide in the value of the £ will have far more serious consequences than our one-eyed emperor imagines. We assume he's doing it so that his effort to raise the necessary £billions to fritter away on public spending will look cheaper at €1 to the £ than it did at €1.50. Brown's gamble with the entire national currency and inflation makes anything those naughty bankers managed with toxic loans seem like a viacarage whist drive.

So let's all pray that John Sergeant gets the hoof - then TMP can start to wield its awesome powers on more important issues.