Friday, October 24, 2008

When is a product, not a product?

Whoever was first to use the expression "product" to describe a mortgage or savings account or insurance policy should be hung, drawn and quartered. We've even heard someone describe their party policy a "political product", so this clearly has to stop.

This stupidity has imbued commonplace bean counters with a range of completely unearned posh sobriquets, finally ending up at "Masters of the Universe", that seem to have lead them to imagine themselves as great captains of industry, and creators of vast wealth, when the awful truth has revealed that they are are none of these things.

The financial services emperor is stark buck naked. It's time to laugh at his minuscule manhood and force him to drop all presence to grandiose things such as "products" and resume his rightful role as a "clerk". In fact, we should press on further and call a "mortgage product" a "highly secured loan", and an "insurance policy" a "bet".

The latest "financial product" is apparently a credit card with an APR of over 200%, launched just in time by the once reputable Argos, to exploit their gullible Christmas market. So instead of "banker", please now read "loan shark"; and for "insurance underwriter", read "bookie".

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