The State of the Union

What an utter fook-up.

New Labour's sleazy attempts to appease its Scottish "client society" with devolution and a white elephant parliament, in order to retain their stranglehold on Westminster through dubious Scottish lobby-fodder MPs has backfired in a big way, and now the crafty Alex Salmond is within inches of his goal of a properly independent Scotland.

Let him have it. The irony that it has been the Scots that have actually ruled and ruined the English for the past 11 years is not lost on us.

And let Labour disappear into the sort of obscurity that they so richly deserve for having made such a complete shambles of running the country during what is now universally regarded as a golden age of low inflation, low energy costs, and low food costs that has allowed the Asian economies to get in position to literally "eat our lunch" and turn off our industry.

Go now Gordon Brown, you may indeed be well-meaning, but the facts show you are quite breathtakingly inadequate for the job, as Tony and Cherie knew all along. Otherwise at the present rate of decline, a good old-fashioned lynching is quite possibly on the cards.

In fact, TMP is considering publishing knitting patterns to keep the crowd amused between executions.

Men in Beards

Although we have seen no photographs, we assume that the "council official" responsible for issuing a £30 ticket to the builder who was driving his own van, on his own, whilst indulging in the heinous crime of smoking a cigarette at his place of work, has a beard.

The fact that this matter also then descended into a debate on the subject of "when is a van not a van but private transport ?" added a further dimension to the sort of farce inspired by witless council functionaries, empowered way beyond their limited levels of intelligence of common sense that is now all too familiar in this benighted land.

Next time you find yourselves anywhere near Llanafan, near Aberystwyth, be certain not to light up - or support the local economy in any way, eh? Maybe driving all the businesses to bankruptcy thereby slashing the amount taken in business rates will encourage the halfwits at the council to get rid of its surplus staff. Because then there will be no places of work left for these clowns to pester, will there?

Fanny and Freddie go bust-ish

Once again the consequences of the greed and stupidity of big US financial institutions is going to spread through global markets and impinge on the lives of people who have never heard of any of them, let alone encouraged them to lend money to basket cases.

Once again Gordon Brown will claim that influences beyond his feeble control are upsetting his master plan to solve world poverty and put a chicken in every Labour voter's pot, while denying that core inflation is actually running around 10% for the year.

His beloved Prudence appears to be about to be knocked up once again by some foreign gigolo - this time he's called Freddy, and with his moll Fannie joining in a Mosely-esque threesome orgy of fiscal impropriety. Unlike Max & Co., we don't particularly enjoy a spanking.

As reported in the Sunday Times Business Section today on the subject of careless chatter in cyberspace among credit-rating analysts that is proving a boon to regulators investigating just who is going to go a jail for the biggest financial frauds of all time:-

“Let’s hope we’re all wealthy and retired by the time this house of cards falters,” an analyst wrote in a candid e-mail to a colleague.

Let's hope Gordon is sent back into Caledonian exile and obscurity before too much else goes horribly wrong on his watch... he may have been a "lucky" chancellor, he is plainly an unbelievably unlucky PM.

The Boy David and his open goal

It seems that the sight of a deserted pitch and open goal might be encouraging David Cameron to pluck up courage to expose a few policies to the possibility that Zanu-NewLabour will attempt to steal them.

The idea that people should be rewarded for recycling rather than fined is a nice one - and potentially a momentous breakthrough towards some of the ideas that TMP has suggested for getting motorists back onside.

There is a real "zeitgeist issue" here if he can develop it - those who are visible in society because they drive insured and taxed vehicles and live at fixed abodes really are despairing at the way the "powers that be" don't bother with those who live their lives on the fringes and do their best to fly under official radar.

TMP wonders if Cameron may have caught on to the notion that it's actually simpler to reward the responsible than it is to catch and prosecute the feckless.

The Apocolypse beckons...

We did warn you. Here’s the news that should trigger a wave of selling on global markets:

Starbucks plans to close 600 stores across U.S.; 12,000 employees affected.

Remember what was said here back in December 2007:

In times of recession, people and businesses are required to focus on what they really, really need. Do they need high streets packed with £3 a cup coffee shops, £5 a sandwich shops and phone shops that sell the most overpriced services on the planet?

Harold Macmillan’s famous response to a journalist when asked what is most likely to blow governments off course was “Events, dear boy... events.”

However, in the case of Gordon Brown, these “events” have been seen coming and predicted by more than just TMP for several years now, and yet no effort has been made to change the course of his socialist Titanic economy, built on over taxing, fairyland levels of unsustainable credit, centralised micro mismanagement, and topped off with Blair’s curious worship of celebrity and Big Money.

If this pantomime administration manages to cling on for its full term, Brown will deserve to be impeached for his failure to hold either an election to establish his legitimacy, or the promised referendum on his willingness to commit the UK to the new Franco-Prussian Empire.

If a water company can be fined for fibbing about leaks, what can we do about a Prime Minister that lies so comprehensively about the true rate of inflation ..? Rarely has one (allegedly well-meaning politician) have been able to screw up so monumentally on so many massively crucial issues in such a short space of time.