Despot Relief misses the point again

As usual, a jolly evening of red noses, angst and robustly rude humour that was brim full of good intentions to replace the role of the welfare state in this country, and UN agencies in others.

Rather than trying to find ways of shaming the UK government into addressing the stark issues it uncovered, it invited Tony Blair to prove what a consummate actor and performer he was in a jolly "am I bovvered?" sketch, and sent Ant and Dec to sniff the sewers of Nairobi.

Perhaps it would have been rather more interesting and poignant had there been an option to pledge cash to a fund that was going to hire the very finest hit man money could buy to take out Robert Mugabe, and then generally concentrate on restoring sound government to those nations where a fleet of presidential mercs takes precedence over medicine and feeding the population.

Then when some of the lower profile but equally repugnant despots who have sat idly by and allowed Mugabe to get away with his reign of terror see the video of Bob swinging in the breeze ("go hang", the man said, remember?) maybe they too might wonder if their good times were about to be abruptly terminated - and either clear off to Switzerland to keep their money company, or mend their ways.

Even the stony hearted TMP might then have been forced to lift the phone and pledge £100.

For as long as Africa remains a basket case, the best chance its oppressed inhabitants have is to escape to the UK to claim asylum, and try and avoid being knifed in Newham.